Who are YOU?

Who exactly are you? Are you really that nice? Are you really that cruel? Do people think of you as a loser? Do people think you are two faced? Do people honestly like you? Those are big questions. Most people don't really like to think about that. Several years ago when I was in college my father gave me a book called The Man in the Mirror. I didn't read the entire thing. (I used to hate to read. At the time, if I had a choice of reading a novel and getting poked in the eye, I probably would have taken the poke in the eye.) But, I did read a good part of it. One thing from this book that has kept with me all these years since was the notion that the most mature thing any man can do is to self-evaluate one's life - to look inside your life and say "how can I become a better human being?" Going through life just trying live right is not enough. You've got to take the time to analyze your life. To evaluate your standards of living. That's the mark of a real man. That's the mark of maturity. The Bible says is clearly here. "...When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." This line of thought got me thinking recently. I started thinking about my current status in life. I'm a good guy (I think). I don't do outrageously crazy things - at least intentionally. I don't like to go drinking just for the sake of drinking. I've never smoked. Never took drugs. But, here I am, 31 years old and single. I've got good friends. But, certainly wish my friendships were closer than they are. My family relationships are good. But, they could be better. My friends and family know that I love them and care about them (I think). But, why aren't things better now? Who am I? Better yet, who do others think that I am? What type of man do others perceive me as? So with these questions I realize that good intentions can only get you so far. You've got to assess your place in life and ask if you can do better. Have you been a good friend to others? Have you helped out others expecting nothing in return? Have you been a good brother or sister? A good son or daughter? These are questions of maturity. On the opposite side, I feel immaturity can be characterized by excuses. It would be immature to point blame for your failures in life because of some circumstance, because it was someone else's fault, if your parents only understood you better, or if I just had a little more money. Pretty soon, it is these excuses which characterize your life. Before you start thinking that you've had it rough because of these excuses, it's probably time to ask yourself if you are in that rough spot because of your actions. Is it really someone else's fault, or was it because of your ultimate overall behavior? My brother Wesley says that today's society has a problem with Perpetual Adolescense. That is, people don't want to grow up. Today's youth and young adults are having a difficult time maturing. They are getting married later in life. They are having kids at a much older age. (My parents had 5 kids by the time they were 30!). Some of them still live at home with their parents. Beside going to school and gaining an education to improve their lives, they'd rather play video games and party with their friends until the wee hours of the morning. I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun, and enjoy life. But, there comes a time when a man should act like a man and take ownership of his life. You can't let outside influences affect it. You can't let your desire to have fun keep you from progressing your life in a healthy manner. Relying on excuses affects your character, how people view you. Then, pretty soon, this character change affects your core values. I'll never forget what my old civil engineering instructor, Serji Amerikhanian, told us on our final day of class as seniors. He was put up slides and gave hand outs for his tips on life. I'll never forget two of these tips. He observed... 1) You can always repair a broken reputaions, but rest assured that people will always be looking where the crack once was. 2) Words are like leaves. Seldom fruit is found where they most abound. These are great tips. The first one reminds me to be careful of how others view me. And the second reminds me not to over speak, try to impress, try to offer something I don't know, and not to offer excuses. So, I ask again... Who are YOU?